|
|
|
January 31st, 2012
08:58 am
friends only!
for the most part, at least, unless i feel like i've got something amazing and useful to share with the world, in which case the post may or may not be public-- sometimes i feel like the world isn't ready.
then again it just may not be ready for the copious amount of nerdiness, fangirlness, and squeeing that is contained within this journal. in my defense, i'm way smarter than i sound on paper.
comment to be added.
-miss riot
|
September 19th, 2009
05:20 pm
There's blood in my mouth 'cause I've been biting my tongue all week
I keep on talkin' trash but I never say anything
And the talkin' leads to touchin'
and the touchin' leads to sex
and then there is no mystery left
And It's bad news
Baby I'm bad news
I'm just bad news, bad news, bad news
I know I'm alone if I'm with or without you
but just bein' around you offers me another form of relief
When the loneliness leads to bad dreams
and the bad dreams lead me to callin' you
and I call you and say "C'MERE!"
And it's bad news
Baby I'm bad news
I'm just bad news, bad news, bad news
And it's bad news
Baby it's bad news
It's just bad news, bad news, bad news
'Cause you're just damage control
for a walking corpse like me - like you
'Cause we'll all be
Portions for foxes
Yeah we'll all be
Portions for foxes
There's a pretty young thing in front of you
and she's real pretty and she's real into you
and then she's sleepin' inside of you
and the talkin' leads to touchin'
then touchin' leads to sex
and then there is no mystery left
And it's bad news
I don't blame you
I do the same thing
I get lonely too
And you're bad news
My friends tell me to leave you
That you're bad news, bad news, bad news
That you're bad news
Baby you're bad news
and you're bad news
Baby you're bad news
and you're bad news
I don't care I like you
and you're bad news
I don't care I like you
I like you
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/moonsis/stars/green/sad_sg.gif) depressed
Current Music: rilo kiley;portions for foxes
|
August 12th, 2009
02:53 am
the sky is grey, the sand is grey, and the ocean is grey
i feel right at home in this stunning monochrome, alone in my way
i smoke and i drink and every time i blink i have a tiny dream
but as bad as i am i'm proud of the fact that i'm worse than i seem
what kind of paradise am i looking for
i've got everything i want and still i want more
maybe some tiny shiny thing will wash up on the shore
you walk through my walls like a ghost on tv
you penetrate me
and my little pink heart is on its little brown raft floating out to sea
and what can i say but i'm wired this way and you're wired to me
and what can i do but wallow in you unintentionally
ahat kind of paradise am i looking for
i've got everything i want and still i want more
maybe some tiny shiny key will wash up on the shore
regretfully, i guess i've got three simple things to say
why me? why this now? why this way?
overtone's ringing, undertow's pulling away
under a sky that is grey
on sand that is grey by an ocean that's grey
what kind of paradise am i looking for
i've got everything I want and still i want more
maybe some tiny shiny key will wash up on the shore
Current Mood: wlsdfjkioaweuroiweaufsladkfj
|
June 5th, 2009
08:21 am - Writer's Block: Regrets Only
Francis Bacon wrote "It is the wisdom of crocodiles, that shed tears when they could devour." meaning that the crocodile weeps over the fact that it has to kill its prey in order to survive. then again, there is the 'crocodile tears' saying, referring to when someone is crying insincerely or just for show or to get what they want. so maybe the only reason crocodiles cry over their prey (they really do, in a sense anyhow) is to make everyone think they feel bad for killing.
so, no. animals do not feel regret. that is a purely human experience.
|
June 4th, 2009
03:35 pm
david carradine dead of apparent suicide
see? depression affects everyone.
take some time out today to ask someone how they're feeling, and do what you can to make their day a little better.
|
April 27th, 2009
02:08 pm - Writer's Block: Musical Affliction
I was just bony hands as cold as a winter pole
you held a warm stone out new flowing blood to hold
oh what a contrast you were
to the brutes in the halls
my timid young fingers held a decent animal.
Over the ramparts you tossed
the scent of your skin and some foreign flowers
tied to a brick
sweet as a song
the years have been short but the days were long.
Cool of a temperate breeze from dark skies to wet grass
we fell in a field it seems now a thousand summers passed
when our kite lines first crossed
we tied them into knots
and to finally fly apart
we had to cut them off.
Since then it's been a book you read in reverse
you understand less as the pages turn
or a movie so crass
and awkardly cast
that even I could be the star.
I don't look back much as a rule
and all this way before murder was cruel
but your memory is here and I'd like it to stay
warm light on a winters day.
Over the ramparts you tossed
the scent of your skin and some foreign flowers
tied to a brick
sweet as a song
the years have seemed short but the days go slowly by
two loose kites falling from the sky
drawn to the ground and an end to flight.
--the shins, pink bullets
|
February 21st, 2009
12:49 pm - Writer's Block: Words to Live By
oh, i've got a few. as far as mottos go, i like to say 'better off not trying too hard.' conversely, i sometimes also like to say 'the worst part is over, now get back on that horse and ride.'
as far as personal quotations go.. here are my favorites.
"the smell of sulfur is strong, but not unpleasant to a sinner."-- mark twain, roughing it
"the most merciful thing in the world, i think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents."-- h.p. lovecraft, call of cthulhu
and probably my favorite of all time
"the world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places. but those it cannot break it will kill. it kills the very good, the very gentle, and the very brave impartially. if you are none of these things the world will kill you too but there will be no special hurry."-- ernest hemingway, a farewell to arms
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/moonsis/stars/green/mellow_sg.gif) rejuvenated
|
December 9th, 2008
01:00 pm - Writer's Block: Set Sail
and the name of this was 'set sail'?
oh, my god.
|
December 8th, 2008
10:42 am - Writer's Block: Untimely Passing
i cried the day johnny cash died. but he was old, so i guess that doesn't count.
|
October 31st, 2008
July 9th, 2008
July 2nd, 2008
04:02 pm - addendum.
also.
listen to the beach boys.
seriously.
Current Music: the beach boys;long promised road.
|
May 8th, 2008
04:17 pm - MAY!
may is mental health awareness month! as most of you know this is a subject near and dear to my heart. the national institute of mental health estimates that 26.2% of americans aged 18 and older are afflicted with some type of mental illness.
Mental disorders are common in the United States and internationally. An estimated 26.2 percent of Americans ages 18 and older — about one in four adults — suffer from a diagnosable mental disorder in a given year. When applied to the 2004 U.S. Census residential population estimate for ages 18 and older, this figure translates to 57.7 million people. Even though mental disorders are widespread in the population, the main burden of illness is concentrated in a much smaller proportion — about 6 percent, or 1 in 17 — who suffer from a serious mental illness. In addition, mental disorders are the leading cause of disability in the U.S. and Canada for ages 15-44. Many people suffer from more than one mental disorder at a given time. Nearly half (45 percent) of those with any mental disorder meet criteria for 2 or more disorders, with severity strongly related to comorbidity.
most people know someone who suffers from a mental illness. if you think you don't know anyone, think again-- it's far more common than you think and being that there is such a terrible stigma attached to these conditions many people are both ashamed and afraid to admit that they have a mental illness.. which, in many cases, leads to an avoidance of assessment and appropriate treatment which not only improves quality of life, but in many cases also quantity.
so if you have the time, volunteer. if you have the money, donate. or, just read up on it.. every little bit helps. this problem is a lot more widespread than people think, and is no longer confined to the criminally insane or disabled. it's your family, your neighbors, your co-workers, and most people have some type of gross misconception about what mental illness is and how it affects not only people, but entire communities.
|
March 29th, 2008
06:43 am
amanda and i talked and hashed a lot a LOT of things out and i feel much better about that. things aren't they way they were and probably won't ever be, but that's life. we're ok for right now, and that's ok with me.
and in other news, i miss my dad. like, a lot. he lives in brooksville now, which is 2 hours away roughly, and while i can call or email him anytime i want.. it's not the same as having him here. and it's actually more upsetting than i'd like to to be because he and i are so much like, in an eerie sort of way, and i just.. eh. i don't know what to believe, from him or from my mom, and for the most part i don't believe any of it.. i just miss him. and as much as i wish it hadn't.. i think this divorce has fucked me up for the rest of my life.
Current Mood: complacent
|
February 26th, 2008
05:24 am - ATTENTION!!!!
on the off chance that anyone on my frenz list will know someone in the central florida area who is interested..
my sister has two tickets to the SOLD OUT cobra starship/we the kings/the cab/metro station show tonite (tuesday 2/26) that she's selling for $15 apiece since she's been sick and can't go to the show. IF YOU KNOW ANYONE WHO LIVES IN MY AREA (like.. lakeland/bartow/winter haven/eagle lake/mulberry/within 25 miles) that might want these tickets, please let them know. my cell # is 862.521.7602.. get at me on here, or myspace (myspace.com/angelfxck), or email (triggershy@gmail.com) and let me know please! thanks.
|
January 22nd, 2008
04:47 am - What Do You Have To Say? - When I Grow Up...
a fortress.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/moonsis/stars/green/hyper_sg.gif) determined
|
January 4th, 2008
11:33 pm
bigger hips=bigger brains
damn straight. that explains why i'm a damn genius.
|
November 30th, 2007
November 13th, 2007
11:01 am
is life more like a game than a work in progress? according to some, there are set rules for this giant pathway of multicolored squares that we're supposed to follow through the gumdrop forest. 10 or more, at least, including but not limited to 'thou shalt not steal' and 'honor thy father and thy mother' although they could probably just shorten it to 'thou just shalt not be a total asshole, ok?' there are clear cut guidelines and things you must do in order to emerge victorious from your quest, whether that be to clear all the red chips off the board or find out who killed someone in the library with a lead pipe. and, there is always a clear cut winner. you can play in the way of making everyone feel good about themselves and proclaim 2nds and 3rds but to get technical about it, there is only one 1st, and that's the person who reaches candyland before anyone else does.
then again, for a giant game, the rules of life seem to be far less intelligible than those of their milton bradley counterparts. is it ok to steal? if you're starving to death and as long as you don't steal from someone with less than yourself. is it ok to hate your parents? of course it is because sometimes parents abuse their children and who could love someone like that. and if someone reaches the destination before i do, does that make me a loser? should i just give up?
everyone likes to know that their suffering in life will not eventually come to naught. we like to have a purpose to everything that we do. sometimes we inflict pain upon ourselves but only because we know (or, we think we know) what end we are achieving with it and it's that end that matters, not the journey we took to get there. of course there are times where we appreciate the journey as well, knowing what the end is. and knowing that if the end turns out to be worse than what we thought it would be, that we will not appreciate that journey half as much.
we respond to rewards. that is a basic psychological principle. in all things, reward is more effective than punishment as a system of reinforcement. so if life seems so shitty, why do we keep going? because every now and again, you roll the dice and you get another turn, or you get to skip ahead a few steps. to further upon the reinforcement principle, what's even stronger than reward is not knowing when we're going to get it. variable ratio, the administering of reward after no set number of times performing a certain task, is the strongest reinforcement schedule to apply if you're looking to foster behavior that will not be easily eliminated. not knowing whether or not our next step will lead to heartache or to elation is what keeps us coming back for more.
in the end, you just keep looking for that great revelation. the one that will allow you to skip directly to go and collect your $200 or sense of great enlightenment, whatever it was you were playing the game to win. you thought you were close the last time the dice fell in your favor, but you only got ahead two steps. and those two steps were just enough to keep you in the game, to make you stick around until the dice come your way again. because you know that this time, since you've waited so patiently, will be the roll you've been dying to make. it seems as if everyone else in your group has already made it to the lost king at the end, and you're barely out of the candy cane forest.
and even more important than all of that is this: what the hell do you do when you get to the end? remain, or move to the next game?
or, learn your lesson from the one you just lost, and give up all together.
Current Mood: bah.
Current Music: tofer brown;candy hearts.
|
November 7th, 2007
03:28 am
So take it as a song or a lesson to learn
And sometime soon be better than you were
If you say you're gonna go, then be careful
And watch how you treat every living soul
... proud to report that i am OVER IT. and i hope she is too.
|
|
|